You’ve heard about the ‘Let’s go Brandon’ T-Shirts, but who is Brandon? You don’t have a clue.

You’ve heard about the ‘Let’s go Brandon’ T-Shirts, but who is Brandon?  You don’t have a clue.  News is not a part of your life unless there is a story out about Dave Grohl or Britney Spears.  Sealing yourself up for over a year did not help either.  The one thing that has been consistent, though is your collection of T-Shirts.  You have some 200 of them, including a Led Zeppelin 1979 Backstage Pass T-Shirt.  Your need to collect more is drawing you towards the ‘Let’s go Brandon’ T-Shirt.  However, with no knowledge of the subject matter, you remain unsure.  The internet is down T.F.N., so no help there.  If this T-Shirt is to be had today, you must go out in the world and do what you hate most.  Ask perfect strangers for information about ‘Let’s go Brandon’.

You pick the library first, walk in and ask the reference desk person, “What does ‘Let’s go Brandon’ mean?” “Um, it’s the name of a T.V. Show I think.” says the young librarian. The second choice is no more appealing. You will have had to go back out into the world and ask someone else. You walk out and begin what is now your daily routine, walking down the sidewalk, looking in store after store, hoping for some sort of answer. After an hour of this, you realize you can hear a T.V. Show mentioning ‘Let’s go Brandon’ in the background. You begin to run towards the sound of T.V. This is the only lead you have, so you hope it pans out. After one block, you begin to notice something peculiar happening. While running, you look down at your feet. You seem to be covered in hundreds of little ants, which are all scurrying away from you. You look up and notice the same thing happening on the street and sidewalk. They are all running away from you, in the same direction. You begin to hear people screaming and yelling behind closed doors. You don’t want to start a panic so you keep walking and ignore the problem. You stop a passerby and ask, “Do you know what ‘Let’s go Brandon’ means?” “Nope, sorry”, says the passerby. “Do you?” “I’m a sanitation engineer, what do you think?” the passerby asks, annoyed. “That’s not an answer!” “It’s the only answer I have.” At this point, you realize the passerby is right. You don’t know what to do. You can continue this futile quest, or you can go home. Go home and try again tomorrow. You decide to go home. You walk to your apartment and enter. You go to your room, take off your shoes and socks and put on your pajamas. You lay in your bed and shut your eyes. A few hours later you awake and realize that you still don’t know what ‘Let’s go Brandon’ means. You go to your computer and do a search for it. This is when the internet begins to work! You type ‘Let’s go Brandon’ into the search bar and hit enter…

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